


banaaaana boat

by lawltam



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Crack, Gen, Group chat, Next Generation Captains (Haikyuu!!), Textfic, i love them, theyre stupid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-02
Updated: 2020-07-02
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:08:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25027483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lawltam/pseuds/lawltam
Summary: It starts with an idea from Futakuchi and ends with a fight. As always.
Relationships: Ennoshita Chikara/Miya Osamu, Futakuchi Kenji/Terushima Yuuji, Shirabu Kenjirou/Yahaba Shigeru
Comments: 3
Kudos: 70





	banaaaana boat

**Author's Note:**

> i have no excuses i missed writing them so here i am. they're so stupid i love them so much.
> 
> also its in the same universe as my next gen caps week? same usernames and ships n shit i mean u don't need to read the other fics to understand this one but it would b nice if u did....

**futachin:** ok so hear me out

 **hoot hoot v2** : no

 **shirabooboo** : no

 **yababy** : no

 **futachin** : ok u know what

 **futachin** : you all are haters

 **futachin** : and im gonna say my idea anyway

 **shirabooboo** : can we softblock him

 **teruteru-chan** : go ahead baby im listening

 **futachin** : thanks babe

 **no-shit-a** : oh my GOD im gonna puke hhhgngh

 **yababy** : chikara literally SHUT UP you just sent me a vid of you slapping osamu’s ass

 **hoot hoot v2** : i also got that video

 **futachin** : EVERYONE SHUT UP IM SHARING MY IDEA

 **hoot hoot v2** : yes ok tell your idea kenji

 **futachin** : okay so get this

 **futachin** : us, at a resort, sharing the same banana boat

 **hoot hoot v2** : i never should’ve let you voice your opinion

 **yababy** : genuinely concerned for kenji’s mental health

 **shirabooboo** : literally WHAT

 **no-shit-a** : what the fuck

 **teruteru-chan** : YOOOOO THAT SOUNDS SICKKKK NGL

 **shirabooboo** : LITWRALLY QHAT

 **futachin** : THANK YOU

 **shirabooboo** : i don’t even want to entertain ur idea but just know that i would drown all of you at first chance

 **shirabooboo** : except for u shigeru <3

 **yababy** : <3

 **no-shit-a** : brb puking 

**hoot hoot v2** : excuse you but why would you drown me

 **hoot hoot v2** : what happened to all pretty setters stick together?

 **shirabooboo** : yes but keiji you need to be pretty to be included in the pretty setters squad

 **teruteru-chan** : :O

 **hoot hoot v2** : oh right so you wouldn’t know then :)

 **teruteru-chan** : :OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 **shirabooboo** : KEIJI WHAT THE FUCK UR SO MEAN

 **hoot hoot v2:** YOURE THE ONE THAT IMPLIED I WAS UGLY IN THE FIRST PLACE

 **yababy:** ladies ladies

 **yababy:** please youre both beautiful

 **no-shit-a:** shigeru shut up i want them to fight

 **futachin:** i also want to see them fight

 **shirabooboo:** keiji ill train to tokyo to fight you

 **hoot hoot v2:** you wouldnt

 **hoot hoot v2:** you can barely manage a volleyball team

 **teruteru-chan:** oOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 **futachin:** FUCKING ROASTED

 **no-shit-a:** wait maybe this was a mistake

 **shirabooboo:** oh thats rich, coming from somebody whose team didnt make it to the interhigh nationals

 **yababy:** oh god

 **no-shit-a:** THIS WAS A MISTAKE

 **teruteru-chan:** DAMAGE CONTROL???

 **futachin:** THIS IS GOING INTO THE DANGER ZONE

 **hoot hoot v2:** neither did yours

 **hoot hoot v2:** at least mine made it to the spring nationals :)

 **yababy:** the fucking smiley face

 **no-shit-a:** im so scared

 **teruteru-chan:** CHIKARA GET OSAMU IN CHAT SO THAT WE ALL HAVE A COMMON ENEMY

 **no-shit-a:** HEY THATS RUDE I LIKE HIM

 **no-shit-a:** GOOD IDEA THOUGH BRB

**User Ennoshita Chikara ( _@no-shit-a_ ) added user Osamu Miya ( _@miyarizaki_ ) to the chat.**

**miyarizaki:** hi babe whats up

 **no-shit-a:** shirabu and akaashi are fighting and we’re scared

 **miyarizaki:** so why am i here

 **no-shit-a:** because you’re the common enemy

 **miyarizaki** : yeah sure but akaashi and shirabu scare me

 **yababy:** osamu ur fuckin useless

**User Osamu Miya ( _@miyarizaki_ ) has left the chat.**

**teruteru-chan:** GREAT JOB YAHABA

 **teruteru-chan:** YOU KICKED OUT OUR ONLY HOPE AT PEACE

 **yababy:** HOW IS THIS MY FAULT

 **futachin:** YOU SCARED HIM OFF

 **no-shit-a:** YAHABA BULLY CONFIRMED

 **yababy:** ENNO FUCK OFF

 **hoot hoot v2:** guys relax

 **hoot hoot v2:** we’re not gonna fight

 **shirabooboo:** *pauses*

 **shirabooboo:** we’re not???

 **hoot hoot v2:** no

 **shirabooboo:** oh

 **yababy:** are you fucking kidding me

 **futachin:** ……

 **teruteru-chan:** ……..

 **futachin:** ………...

 **no-shit-a:** ………………

 **no-shit-a:** go back to fighting it was more fun

 **futachin:** HE SAID IT

 **teruteru-chan:** the absolute fucking madlad

 **yababy:** enno: i want them to fight

 **yababy:** also enno: wait maybe this was a bad idea

 **yababy:** also also enno: i want them to fight again

 **no-shit-a:** im not the same person i was five minutes ago

 **futachin:** awh chikara ur so ~quirky~

 **futachin:** do u wear vans? do u listen to billie eilish? do u wear long sleeve shirts under ur tshirts? and post instagram pics with a lot of grain and put a caption like no one cares unless ur pretty or dead?

 **teruteru-chan:** didnt you just describe akaashi

 **hoot hoot v2:** HEY SHUT THE FUCK UP

 **no-shit-a:** you know its funny bc i actually have more followers than the both of you

 **shirabooboo:** LMAOOSDFJKLSDF

 **teruteru-chan:** LOLLLL

 **futachin:** ITS SO FUCKING INFURIATING 

**yababy:** ooh ‘infuriating’

 **yababy:** thats a grown up word

 **futachin:** ALL HE DOES IS POST A MUTED VIDEO OF HIM SMILING AND BRUSHING HAIR OUT OF HIS EYES AND IT GETS 100K LIKES

 **shirabooboo:** yeah whats ur point

 **futachin:** THEN I DO THE EXACT SAME THING AND SOMEONE BLOCKS ME

 **yababy:** hELPPLP?????@(#$*%

 **hoot hoot v2:** and ill put my BEST outfit and stand in the middle of the fucking shibuya crossroad for a pic and get 20k likes

 **shirabooboo:** awhh

 **shirabooboo:** peepee poopoo is the instagram-famous eboy not getting enough likes?

 **shirabooboo:** thats so sad :((((((( 

**teruteru-chan:** KDFJHSDKFJH

 **teruteru-chan:** can we get some fs in the chat?????

 **hoot hoot v2:** f

 **futachin:** you cant f your own struggle akaashi

 **hoot hoot v2:** oh yeah? then how come i just did

 **yababy:** oh shit he got u there

 **no-shit-a:** fuckin outplayed

 **futachin:** i hate it here

**Author's Note:**

> scream next gen caps with me on [twitter!!!](https://twitter.com/akaaqshi)


End file.
